Yes this conversation happened.

On my recent quest for a more PG vocabulary I ask my friend Fluxxy for a suggestion. I’ve had no problem replacing exclamations like ‘Shit’ or ‘Fucking fuck fuck’ but I’ve stumbled some in my pursuit of the application of terms to people, particularly for people who do stupid things.
Mike’s suggestion was to take it slow, “start with going from ‘asshole’ down to ‘cock sucker’. I immediately pointed out ‘cock sucker’ is obviously more offensive than ‘asshole’. Fluxxy assured me it wasn’t and used the scenario of forcible sodomy to backup his assessment. “Would you prefer to be violated in the mouth or the ass?” of course the mouth, therefore ‘asshole’ is worse than ‘cock sucker’. He wins, we go to the next step down.
‘Asshole’ to ‘cock sucker’ to ‘dick head’. oh wait a damn minute. there is noway dick head is less vulgar than asshole, just no way.

(OK, it’s at this point I must interject. This is Fluxxdog. My whole point with this was to take down the tone of swearing one step at a time. We start with ASSHOLE which is one of the more famous swear words. COCKSUCKER is usually considered less foul. DICKHEAD is just more of a run of the mill insult and not really that vulgar. From there, it gets obscenely NON-profane. Ass-rammer is just a bit more creative but still mundane. Then we go with Beavis and Butthead material: Fartknocker. At this point, creativity is more required than language. One of my favorite ways to get someone without actually getting busted at work (where I work as a waiter) is to involve farm animals, some stretchy or flexible material, and a family member. Such as “There’s this story about a goat, some rubber tubing, and your mother. You don’t want to know the details.” They end up assuming something sexual, get in a huffy, and then I point out I never said anything about the three being involved in something sexual, causing them to get embarrassed, because they were the one thinking about a goat doing their mom tied up with rubber tubing. But I digress. Once the swearing part is overcome, creativity becomes a valuable asset in ticking people off and pointing how much of an completely idiotic fuckhead they are! … Oops.)